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5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Single

I wish I knew that:

  1. I didn’t know what I wanted (to an extent).
    1. I like to analyze myself, so I thought I knew my husbandly preferences well. But when I started dating Sean, there were so many aspects about him that I needed, but never knew I needed.
      1. He showered me with compliments. Most girls know they need this, but in the words of Marshawn Lynch, “I’m all bout that action boss!” so to me, words didn’t mean much…until I realized they did.
      2. He was so, so patient – he helped me acknowledge, communicate, and talk about my feelings. I swear, deep down, I’m just a man.
      3. To Sean, service is love. He loved doing things for me and I didn’t realize how much I loved that about him until I was dating him.
      4. He believed I could change the world – that I could do anything and everything. I knew I needed this, but I didn’t know I needed to be with someone who would always remind me of this…and still reminds me of this.
  1. Marriage was going to be more amazing than I imagined.
    1. I wish I had a more beautiful image of marriage when I was single. I simply didn’t know what that kind of love felt like…I had no clue it was so powerful. I remember thinking that our first year of marriage was simply amazing even though people always tell you to prepare for the worst. At least, that’s what it felt like people were trying to say.
  2. I needed to wait to get married so that who I was in my 20’s could mature and develop.
    1. I got married at 27, but I would’ve loved to get married at 23. 27 isn’t even old, but I felt ready for marriage after graduating from high school…I must’ve thought I was really mature (growing up in a small town definitely influenced that desire as well).
    2. I can truly say I was a very different person at 27 than I was at 21 or 23 when I felt ready for marriage.
    3. My personal story (this doesn’t apply to everyone!) is that new vision for my life developed within me between the ages of 21-27, and I think if I got married sooner, that new vision would’ve never developed.
  3. I could be deeply attracted to someone who didn’t fit my image of physical perfection.
    1. Can you guess what the image of physical perfection was that I had in my head?? Probably the same image you get when you think of physical perfection…whatever society, culture, and magazines tells us is perfect.
    2. I cared a lot about this…remember, I’m kind of a man 🙂 Actually, many women care just as much about looks as men do. I didn’t realize attraction goes so much deeper than surface-level looks.
  4. I had so many fears associated with marriage.
    1. I was a commitment phobe and didn’t know it until I had to make the decision to commit.
    2. Marriage and commitment is scary, but I’m not one to walk away from scary. So I had to deal with those fears with the help of the Holy Spirit and with the help of Sean.

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