There is a Match.com commercial that aired about a year ago that I still see quite often. A blond lady is asked the typical question by the Match.com guy: “What are you looking for?”
“Someone who is Funny, Kind, and Sweet.”
I like her answer…good adjectives…good qualities…(reminds me exactly of Sean!). Everyone likes and wants those things in a significant other. No one says I want to be with a dull, boring jerk. But let’s just be honest, if that’s really ALL she wanted, she would’ve found someone by now.
So what are you looking for? If your response to that question weren’t trimmed down to just three adjectives, what would your answer be? Then my question to you would: “Is that ALL you’re looking for? And is there truly NO ONE that you’ve ever met in your marriageable years that has those qualities?”
If you honestly haven’t met anyone that has the qualities you want, then what’s the missing quality(ies) that you haven’t found in someone yet? Tell the truth…or become more self-aware…or dig deeper to come up with a more accurate answer…or become your own therapist/counselor to understand yourself better… I’ll ask once again, What are you looking for?
Don’t fool yourself into believing all you really want is someone who is funny, kind, and sweet, because that’s pretty much everyone I know.
To have the right answer for yourself you’ll need to spend time in prayer and talk to other married couples you respect. And you’ll probably have your own experiences and mistakes to draw from to come up with the most accurate answer.
This is simply “food for thought.” Re-think what it is you’re looking for. Have a list in your head or on paper that you can work from (side note: even if you’re pastor told you a decade ago, or yesterday, that you shouldn’t have a list, my opinion is that if you’re mature, and not some 20-year old who’s going to write something stupid on her list like, ‘he has to have pretty eyes!,’ then I’m assuming you’re mature enough to hold this list loosely and have a thought-out, prayed-about list to work from).
So go ahead – Ask yourself what really matters and what doesn’t. Ask yourself if you’re being honest with yourself. And ask yourself what it is you’re looking for.