Always look inward first. Be who you want to marry.
Sure, opposites attract. It’s absolutely true. But when it comes to values, character, ethics, and beliefs, opposites shouldn’t be attracting each other. If they are, maybe that’s why you’re relationships are constantly failing (if they are…I don’t actually know if they are or not). So if you want a person with integrity, you need to be a person of integrity. If you don’t want a partier, then stop going to the club. If you want a man with a vision, then you need to be a woman with a vision. If you want a woman who genuinely loves Jesus, then you need to be a man who has an obvious relationship with Jesus. Get it?
Opposites attract when it comes to personality traits.
“Emotionally expressive” paired with “inexpressive, unemotional.”
“Life of the party” paired with “fun personality, but not competing for attention.”
“Cautious” paired with “risky.”
What it means to “be who you want to marry,” is that you need to have a realistic expectation of the type of person you’re going to attract.If you’re a girl that’s not committed to church, it’s likely you won’t get a guy that is committed to church. Or you might want someone who doesn’t party, but that type of guy will notice that you go out all the time, and because he also wants a person that doesn’t party, he’s not going to like you because he views you as a partier. This is common sense.
However, in an effort to attract someone, a girl (or guy) might alter their values, beliefs, or morals because they get in desperate mode and compromise in areas they shouldn’t compromise in. When they start doing this, they attract someone who is OK with their “new” set or morals (or lack thereof). Then it feels as if there is no chance in the world that they’ll attract the person they actually want (the man with high morals and integrity).
Be who you want to marry.
This is not a foolproof way to find the person of your dreams, but it’s a start. Patience and endurance come into play when you are the person you want to marry, but you still haven’t found “the one” yet.
To Do: Don’t change your values, beliefs or morals to attract more people. Be the type of person you’d like to marry. Pray without ceasing, and endure.