Dating: How Long is Too Long?

Most people have their unique set of circumstances that determine the length of their dating relationship.

  • Bob wants to finish his Master’s program before he gets married, so he and Mary decide to date for 3 years.
  • Susie was engaged in the past (or maybe even married), so this time around she’s decided to give herself ample time to determine if Joe is 100% right for her. So they decide to date for 5 whole years.
  • Sarah knows she is supposed to marry David, in fact, they both know it. So they figure, why wait? They get engaged and married within 5 months.

Do your best to apply the list below to yourself depending on your life circumstances. I hope to offer wisdom to help you decide how long is too long to date.

How long is too long?

  1. When you’re waiting to have sex with the person you love until after you’re married, then don’t date long.
  • Figure out the shortest possible dating time frame for both of you. If you have to fit a wedding in around a school schedule, family schedule, or any other life circumstance, then pick the shortest possible wait time.
  • And just in case you didn’t already know…Don’t skip out on DATING someone, and jump to marriage in 5 weeks just because you want to have sex with that person. Just please…don’t be the Christian that decides to spend most of their relationship planning a wedding, rather than dating, just because they can’t handle not having sex with each other. If you’re that immature, confused, and impatient, then don’t get married yet.
  1. When both parties are ready to be married and know they’re with the right person, then get married.
  • Obviously, a wedding takes time to plan. But engagements come when both parties are on the same page…they want to marry each other. Duh. So unless there is a life circumstance keeping you from getting married sooner than later, my opinion is that it’s better to get married sooner.
  1. Ask yourself: After how many months (or years) would I feel like I “wasted my time” if I dated and never married that person?
  • Your answer will determine how long is too long for you.
  • Say you’re with someone for 1 year and never got engaged…would you feel upset because you missed out on a year of your life that you could’ve committed to someone else? I don’t think you’re time is ever “wasted,” but I do think you can miss out on developing yourself or developing a relationship with your future spouse when you’re giving so much of your time to someone who you won’t marry.
  • As an adult who is ready for marriage, it’s a good idea to give yourself a time frame to determine whether you want to marry the person you’re dating. Once you pick that number (for example: after 3 months, 6 months, etc.), then either begin discussions about marriage or move on. If the other person isn’t on the same page as you, then give them a time frame (in your head), and revisit at that point. Otherwise, before you know it, you could be 3 years in without a date on the calendar (and still unsure if the person you’re with actually wants to marry you!).

Marry the person you love…don’t wait for the perfect time or circumstance. And don’t wait longer than you’re comfortable for your significant other to determine if they love you and want marry you.

 

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