“The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.” – Jackie Kennedy
What a terrible quote! Sure, it could happen in this order, but who wants to get married three times?! I’ve never met anyone who wanted to get married more than once, and though love isn’t the only ingredient in the recipe for a successful marriage, it’s one of the most important.
Love motivates two people to communicate, to fight fairly, to forgive when they don’t fight fairly, to forget, to endure, to be patient, to sacrifice, and to put someone else’s needs and wants before their own. Love is the foundation for a fulfilling, happy marriage.
But for those of you who don’t find it easy to fall in love, and are more logical and rational than emotional, you may appreciate the list below.
Prior to marriage…
Don’t enter into a relationship the same way you make your business decisions.
- There are emotions involved. Don’t ignore all of them. (Some, yes. All, no).
- The logic behind your business-mind is different from your logic behind your relationship-mind.
Don’t let the security of what could be overshadow your lack of love for that person.
- Financial security, familial security, status, and prestige can be nice, but they don’t compare to what it’s like when you actually love someone.
Don’t let his or her perfect resume be the primary motivator to get married.
- Your love for that person is more important than having your wish list fulfilled.
Don’t let comfort be your reason for staying in a relationship.
- If you don’t have love, move on.
- If you have love that isn’t reciprocated, move on.
- If you have love alongside a million red flags (or even a few), move on.
Yes, love is an emotion and a feeling. Yes, it can be misleading. Yes, it can be confusing. Yes, it’s a choice, but it’s more than one person logically choosing to love another person. Don’t underestimate the role it plays in a relationship – it’s a powerful force that will change and adapt over time, yet it’s the one constant in a successful relationship.
So move forward in your relationship when your love is reciprocated and your non-negotiables for a spouse are met.