Let’s say you’re a woman, or man, who actually dates. You aren’t afraid of meeting new people, you have a small list of non-negotiables, you have a great personality, and you’re pretty much an awesome person. So what’s wrong? Why aren’t you in a serious relationship yet?
This is the dilemma of our generation. I think we all wish relationships weren’t this complicated, but they are. Why can’t they just work? Why can’t woman find man, and man find woman, and live happily ever after? Because humans…complex humans…are involved.
So here are 4 questions to ask yourself to help you better understand why your relationships aren’t working out:
To Do #1: Ask yourself – Am I choosing the right type of person for me?
- Look for common reasons as to why your relationships end.
- Is the guy always the one breaking it off? If so, this is really going to hurt your self-esteem. You’re most likely not a bad person, but you’re sure going to feel like it if someone else is always breaking up with you.
- So let your heart respond to someone who is genuinely interested. Then ONLY date those guys that are really, really interested.
- Once you become aware of those commonalities, beware of them.
- If you’re constantly going for a certain “type,” and those relationships never work out, change your type. Give different types of people a chance, and let your attractions develop for someone you wouldn’t have originally chosen.
To Do #2: Ask yourself – Am I afraid to commit?
- If you are, you’ll constantly sabotage yourself.
- You’ll come up with a ridiculous list of qualifications that no one could ever meet. You’ll tell yourself, and everyone else, all the crazy reasons why you don’t like that guy or girl, convincing yourself that you can do better.
- When really, deep down, you’re just afraid to commit. So you build this wall around yourself, protecting yourself from the possibility of commitment.
To Do #3: Ask yourself – Am I attractive?
- I’m not even going to discuss physical beauty here…we all know what that looks like. I’m going to assume you’re taking practical steps to make yourself physically attractive…
- Physical beauty might get you a date, but it doesn’t keep the date. Who YOU are keeps the person coming back.
- Do you ask questions and show interest? Or are you self-centered? Are you generous? Are you kind? Are you funny? Do you laugh? Do you converse easily? Do you have goals/ambitions/dreams/hobbies to talk about? Are you enjoyable to be around?
- Maybe you and your date aren’t meant to be. But because of who you are, would he (or she) like you enough as a person to continue to respect you and say good things about you to others?
- You need to be your best you, and your best you needs to be attractive.
To Do #4: Ask Yourself – Am I going on dates with people who share the same morals and beliefs as me?
- If not, YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
- Mic drop.
- Haha – I know that’s not impressive advice, but why would you date someone who only believes in God, when you have a much deeper relationship with God/Jesus? Satan believes in God too (this doesn’t imply that your last date was Satan himself, lol…) James 2:19
- My point is, date someone on your spiritual level. That’s it. Period.
If after asking yourself these 4 questions, you still are wondering why you’re relationships with the opposite sex always seem to end in failure, then I’d love to hear your specific situation and provide more tailored advice. Please leave a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
On the other hand, keep in mind that maybe, just maybe, you simply haven’t found the right person yet.