I’ve already discussed Part 1 and Part 2 of why your attractions lead you astray. Part 3 is the final section, and it’s all about Pride.
There are many definitions for the word Pride. The definition I am going to discuss is as follows: “the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance.” Some synonyms are: arrogance, vanity, and self-importance. Some antonym’s are: modesty and humility.
Some people know they are awesome. Really, really awesome.
The problem is, not everyone else thinks so. And even if everyone else does agree that that person is super awesome, they don’t like feeling “less than” when they are around that person.
Another problem is that proud people don’t realize they come across as arrogant, and they sure don’t realize they put out this vibe that says they are better, more educated, more beautiful, or more talented than others. Even if all those things are true, they’re likely still single because confident individuals don’t like being around people who make them feel “less than!”
That might sound a little extreme – too extreme to be true about you. But here’s how pride crept in for me:
I felt that because of my accomplishments and successes, albeit very few, I deserved someone who had the same level of accomplishments and successes as me. Sounds logical, right?
You look at your accomplishments versus theirs; your looks; your friends; your family; and your money versus theirs, and come to the conclusion that you can do better. This is how most people think.
I was (and still am) very frugal, some would say…cheap. But that mentality allowed me to stay out of debt and have a great savings account. So naturally, I was proud of that accomplishment, as I should’ve been. But because of that accomplishment, I felt I deserved that same quality from a potential spouse. My pride told me I deserved someone just as good, if not better in that specific area. Let’s just say, Sean is the opposite. Instead of loving to save, he loves to contribute to the American economy by spending, spending, spending.
Others, because of their pride, feel the same way as I did: they deserve someone just as good as them, or better. But what does that even mean? To me, it means that “Ken” is always looking for “Barbie.” He won’t consider “Plane Jane” because he knows he can get Barbie.
This pride keeps you on a constant search for what you would consider to be your “equal.” But let me throw this thought out there: Maybe society is telling you what your “equal” is, not God. You may need to re-define what your equal looks like.
- Get that “equal” definition from God, not society (or even sometimes the church). One example: Just because you “saved yourself” sexually for marriage, doesn’t mean that you’re going to find the same thing.
- Check your pride at the door. You’re cool, but not that cool.
- Look at people the way God looks at them. Prioritize character over accomplishments, looks and/or possessions.