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When to Walk Away

People break up. Relationships fail. Promises are broken. People walk away.

Sad.Sad.Sad.

But when something isn’t meant to be, it’s 100% better for someone to walk away while dating than while married. And it’s better for the relationship to end than to stay in a discontent, unhappy state.

So, maybe you’re in a committed relationship, and you’re wondering if you should walk away. You’re pretty sure marriage is not in your future, and you wonder if you should be the one to end the relationship. Maybe you’re confused by your own feelings, or lack thereof. Maybe you’re unsure of the next step to take in your relationship. And maybe you’re scared to walk away.

Well, here are 5 signs to look for to help you decide if you should walk away:

1. Feelings/Affection aren’t reciprocated

  • For whatever reason, men and women (both!) will put up with someone for a really long time who just isn’t that into them.
  • Let me be the one to tell you…the person you’re with should adore you, respect you, enjoy you, like you, believe in you, support you, speak well about you and to you, and think of you (considerate) and about you.
  • There are so many things you have to compromise to make a relationship work (see my previous post), but these are NOT it! You don’t have to put up with someone who doesn’t even like you. There’s someone out there who will like you, love you, and treat you well. If you aren’t with that person, MOVE ON.

2. Refusal to Commit (Marriage)

  • If you want to get married and he doesn’t, then you’re with the wrong man. If he says he does, but his fear of commitment/marriage is stronger than his desire for marriage, then you will eventually need to make the hard decision to either date him for way too long, or walk away.

3. Red Flags

  • We don’t always see red flags in the beginning of a relationship. And truthfully, some people are better than others at detecting them.
    • Make the hard decision to end the relationship if your partner has one too many red flags (or even just one).
  • What are “red flags” you ask?? Well, simply put, they are warning signs. It’s up to you to heed the warning.
  • WARNING: He has a temper! WARNING: He’s tells little white lies all the time. WARNING: He doesn’t respect you. WARNING: He still struggles with issues from his past. WARNING: He says he’s a “Christian,” but we all know he’s not.

4. Abuse

  • This goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyways. LEAVE.
    • I realize there’s much more to be said about this because it’s extremely difficult to just “leave” an abusive relationship, but that’s another post for another day.

5. Check in Your Spirit

  • I grew up hearing this phrase in the church – so if you’ve never heard it, I’ll explain.
  • First, it’s a really frustrating phrase. It’s up to me to decide if I sense that “check,” which can be difficult. Second, that “check” is an uneasiness or a sense/feeling in my spirit that something is off. Third, the Holy Spirit is who brings that check, that uneasiness, that sense that something isn’t right. Then I discern if that feeling is from the Holy Spirit and not just from the pizza I had the night before.
  • Ultimately, if you sense that the Holy Spirit is speaking to your spirit about the person you’re with, and you feel that you’re moving in the wrong direction with that person, even if there aren’t any red flags, then you need to pay attention.
    • This is very important, but can also be very confusing. You can be with a great person, but just don’t feel peace in your heart about the relationship. So you may need to move on even if you don’t have a good, logical reason to do so. Don’t ignore that check!

Hopefully, these 5 signs make sense to you and will help you when you need the help! I’d be interested to know if you have additional signs that have been helpful to you, or someone you know. If so, leave a comment!

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