I realize we’re all different, which results in different desires and needs, but I do think there are a few qualities every man should have that will help him be a great husband, friend, and partner throughout life. As you read this list, ask yourself if what you’re searching for matches up with what’s listed. And then ask yourself if you also have these qualities since you’ll attract someone with similar attributes.
- He should be humble not only before you, but more importantly, before God. A man who is willing to come to God in prayer, ask for forgiveness and help, and admit when he’s wrong is a GOOD MAN. A man like this is a man worth your respect, love, and admiration. Without this attribute I just don’t see how he can lead his home spiritually.
- A man who is humble with his wife is a man who is teachable. He is willing to see her perspective on things. He’s willing to admit when he is wrong. He is willing to ask her for forgiveness. If a man is not willing to do any of these things, he’s not your man. A man is only human – he is not God, he is not always right, his way is not always perfect. And if he doesn’t agree with that last sentence, then he’s not a humble man. Move on.
- Your man may not be THE leader in a group, church meeting, or at work. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be the boss. That’s not problem…at all! But that type of man still needs to be able to lead his children and be a parent, not someone who is unassertive and passive with a 5-year old. He also needs to, at times, lead his wife. A woman doesn’t always want to be the one who has to make the decisions and take on the role of leader in her home. A husband and wife can pick “roles” where they determine who the leader is of that role (finances, making appointments, children responsibilities, etc.), but a man needs to have the ability to step up and lead when needed!
- Unconditional Love (for you)
- Do you feel like you can be you when you’re around him? If not, please find someone else that appreciates and loves you, imperfections and all! Women – don’t choose to compromise in this area. You need to be loved and feel loved. If you don’t know what love feels like, talk to a married friend or mentor (or counselor) and be super honest with them. Ask them what they think about your man. Tell them you aren’t sure what being loved is supposed to look like or feel like. Tell them about your man and ask them if they see any red flags. If you don’t know what love looks like or feels like, please get an outside opinion.
- To put it simply, unconditional love has the ability to cause one human being to love another in spite of their flaws, annoyances, or wrongs. But the only perfect source of unconditional love is from Jesus…just remember that!
- A man with humility and unconditional love for you will respect you. I know the popular Christian teaching right now is that women need to be loved and men need to be respected. I don’t disagree. But women need to be respected as well! Maybe some more than others, but personally, I need to feel like Sean respects me enough to entrust me with decisions, tell me the truth when I need to hear it, and most importantly, value my opinions, thoughts, and what I have to say. I need his respect. Maybe you do too.
- Dedicated to change (and willing to grow)
- A humble man is dedicated to changing and growing as a person. A stubborn, proud man is stuck in his ways and doesn’t respect or care for his woman enough to go through the pain of change. But your nagging, discontent, and unhappiness with him will NOT produce change. The Holy Spirit will produce change. This is also why it’s so important for him to a relationship with God.
- If he’s not willing to grow, he’ll never change; this comes from a place of humility!
We’re all in different places in life. Some men will have more practice with these qualities than others, but if you’re with a humble man, in relationship with Jesus Christ who is willing to grow and change, then you can be sure he’ll only become a better human being with time. Make sure you’re with someone who respects you and loves you unconditionally – every woman should have that!