4 Reasons Why Physical Appearance is Way Too Important


There’s no getting around it – you need to be attracted to someone to date and/or marry. Period. But what if the girl God has for you isn’t the cutest girl in your social world? What if, God forbid, there are a handful of more attractive girls than her? Or what if the guy that fits you perfectly is a little too soft or round for your liking? OMG.

  • If your attractiveness quotient is so high that you won’t consider looking twice at someone who doesn’t measure up, then you put too high of a value on looks.
  • If you just never find yourself attracted to anyone that doesn’t fit society’s image of near-perfection, then you put too high of a value on looks.
  • If you laugh at, make fun of, sneer at, joke about, or think you’re better than men or women that aren’t attractive, then you put too high of a value on looks (and you’re just mean).

So without further ado, here are 4 reasons why physical attractiveness is way too important in regards to finding that perfect someone:

  1. Physical beauty fades. We all know this but seem to care very little about this truth. For some reason, this fact doesn’t actually affect our beliefs or our actions. It’s like telling a person that smoking is bad for them – duh – that fact doesn’t actually convince them to stop smoking.
    • But if looks are really that important to you, I worry that when your significant other’s beauty fades, your love and attraction will fade as well. Like, what if that beauty fades earlier than it should? What if he or she simply doesn’t age well?
  2. You shut down immediately because you aren’t instantly attracted to someone, even though that less-than-attractive person could be oh-so-perfect for you!
    • Have you ever met someone and were shocked by how beautiful or handsome they were? And, say, 2 months after knowing them they start to look more “normal.” You know they’re beautiful, but you’re just used to their beauty now…you don’t really notice it anymore.
      • In the same way, a “normal” looking person becomes more beautiful over time. Your first impression of them and their less-than-attractive self disappears, and your overall impression shifts and you eventually view them as attractive.
    • Give more people a chance that you may not find immediately attractive. You may be surprised at how attractive that person becomes to you.
  3. Without realizing it, people tend to think their physical attraction, rather than their love, will be the magnetic force that always draw them to each other.
    • It’s easy to think that if there is a fight, argument, annoyance, etc., that you can just kiss and make up and everything will be better. And who better to kiss and make up with than someone really hot??
    • But it’s your love for that person that motivates you to want to kiss and make up, not your physical attraction to them.
    • When seasons of life are really difficult, when you’re exhausted, when you’re stressed at work, when you’re upset with your man or woman, and when you’re unhappy, it’s your love for each other that gets you through those seasons of life, not physical attraction.

4. When your focus is on physical appearance, then your successful pursuit of love slows down dramatically.

  • The first filter for the vast majority of us is looks. We filter out SO many people SO often that our process of finding love is simply going to be slower.
  • Instead, increase your basis of attraction. Rather than focusing on physicality for attraction, focus on the whole person. I know that sounds so lame, especially coming from a married person, but I honestly wish I looked through that lens more often as a single person.
  • When you put more value on other areas, it’ll be easier for you to be attracted to more people who don’t fit your ideal image of physical beauty.

If everyone knows that good looks don’t make a marriage healthy, that beauty fades, that there’s more to a relationship than just making out and sex, that you have to be attracted to more than just the outside of a person, then why are looks so important when it comes to finding love? So how important is physical attraction for you?


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