How to Define God’s “Best”


Most Christians believe they’re waiting for God’s best for them. What’s the alternative? God’s second best? No one wants that. But what does God’s best look like? How do you know he or she is God’s best? And how do you know when to walk away from “good enough” because he or she isn’t God’s best? Well, first we have to define what God’s best is (or is not). Of course, I can’t define what that looks like for you specifically, but hopefully I can help you understand your thinking/judging process when it comes to determining if that person is God’s best for you.

  1. Make sure your “best” definition comes from God, not society.
  • It’s too easy to let culture determine what we want in a spouse versus letting God determine what we want.
  • When you think of what’s best for you, do you think of cultural standards? Security, money, looks, status, good family, no divorce, no kids, no debt, etc. Nothing is wrong with those standards, but remember that God’s best doesn’t equal society’s best.
  1. Your wish list is not the same as God’s “best.”
  • Just because she doesn’t cook doesn’t mean she’s not God’s best for you. Just because he doesn’t come from a picture-perfect family doesn’t mean he’s not God’s best for you.
  • God knows you better than you know yourself and sometimes that means you’ll get paired with someone who has certain characteristics you don’t particularly like.
    • Are you impatient? Then I’m sure God will grow the virtue of patience inside of you by pairing you with someone who takes nearly 485 hours getting ready to go anywhere. Are you a robotic, type A personality? Then I’m sure God will bring you a lovely person that brings wonderful, much-needed, emotion into the relationship (whatever that entails).
  1. Your church’s definition of best does not equal God’s definition of “best.”
  • This doesn’t mean the definitions are opposite, it just means they don’t have to be the same.
  • That single pastor, that musician, that awesome preacher, that beautiful/kind/sweet/super spiritual girl might very well be amazing, but that doesn’t mean that person is God’s best for you.

Ultimately, stop looking at who society, church, or family tells you is best, and look at who God tells you is best. Most people think they’re already doing this, but trust me, it’s easier said than done. Our society, church, and family shape who we are, so we adopt their definitions of best as our own. It’s default. But if you’re still single, then do yourself a favor and re-asses your definition of best and make sure it aligns with God’s definition of best for you. You may be surprised and find that it’s different than what you thought.


There are no comments yet. Be the first one to leave a comment!