How To Pursue Marriage (Part 2)


Since marriage to the love of your life seems intangible and even impossible, people easily do nothing and instead just wait for marriage to happen to them. Though, yes, you will have to wait, you can still actively pursue marriage even if that pursuit looks different from your pursuit of other dreams. In Part 1, I discussed two steps to follow in order to pursue marriage. Below, I’ve outlined two more steps to follow:

  1. Critique your standards for your future spouse
  • I wrote a blog post a while back about whether your standards were from God or society. This is very important to know because your standards determine your attractions…therefore, you must critique your own standards.
  • Know what you WANT. Know what you NEED. Know what you can LIVE WITHOUT. Do your best to analyze yourself, your history, your fears, and your desires so you can know this.
  • Remember that marriage…to the right person…to the person you want to live forever with…is your end goal. So let your standards reflect that goal. Does the right person that you will live forever with have to have a head full of hair or a full bank account or a nice car? Would you rather remain single for the next 5 to 10 years because you can’t find someone who has those things?
  • You have to ask yourself difficult questions about your standards and be completely honest with your answers.
  1. Critique your standards for yourself
  • What are you waiting for before you feel ready to date with marriage in mind? Whatever it is you’re waiting for are the standards you’ve set for yourself.
    • Is it owning a home, graduating from school, living in a certain city, being a certain weight, having a certain number in your bank account, etc.?
    • On the other hand, maybe you don’t have any standards for yourself at all…you think you were born ready for marriage.
  • When I was single, I don’t think I had any standards for myself, but I sure had a lot of standards for my future husband! Talk about double standards!!
  • It seems that men, more often than women, are the ones that have high standards for themselves and where they want to be in life before they’re ready to get married. I guess it’s because women have high standards for them to meet before they’ll give that man a chance. Hmmm…interesting…
  • Regardless of where you fall on the personal standards spectrum, evaluate what is truly important and what isn’t. Reevaluate your standards for yourself in the same way you will reevaluate your standards for someone else.

Stay tuned for Part 3!


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