How To Pursue Marriage (Part 3)


This is the final post in my 3-part series “How To Pursue Marriage.” You can read Part 1 and Part 2 to get caught up on all the steps. Here are the final two steps:

  1. You have to WANT marriage.
  • Have you ever noticed an individual who never seems to be in a serious relationship or no relationship at all, suddenly begin dating when all of their friends (or siblings) are dating? Part of the reason for this is because his or her motivation to date significantly increases, as well as the desire for companionship and readiness for marriage. At this point, he or she is simply more open to dating with the thought of marriage as the end goal.
  • Even if the above example isn’t applicable to you, that same intense desire for marriage needs to be in your heart in order for you to be motivated enough to pursue marriage. This doesn’t mean you have to become crazy desperate or emotionally unstable or super lonely, it just means you must have a strong desire and passion for marriage.
  • Allow yourself to want something you don’t have. Let that desire and passion develop instead of pushing it deep down and forgetting about it. 
  1. Make yourself available
  • Now that you have a passion and desire for marriage (and now that you’re admitting that to yourself), you will need to make yourself available. This will look different for everyone…some suggestions are:
    • Say yes to dates, consider that “best friend” of yours as more than a friend, open your heart up to someone you’ve always been closed off to, stop being so judgmental, ask more people out, stop being so picky about things that don’t really matter, be more social, make more friends, get a hobby, say yes to that blind date, try online dating, pray about prospects, etc.
    • Can you add to this list?? What does being more available look like for you?
  • When you change your mindset to become more welcoming to more people in your life, you become more attractive (not over-eager or desperate). When someone is cold and closed off, that means they don’t want to date. So if you want to date with the goal of marriage in mind, make sure you don't appear cold and closed off.

Ultimately, there will always be a waiting season before marriage, which is a great! But just because marriage isn’t an achievable goal like a bachelor’s degree is, that doesn’t mean you can’t pursue it. Follow these steps to work towards marriage, trust in God’s timing, and learn to wait well. Eventually, your dream will come to pass.


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